Jordan and I have been together for six years now. We dated for about two years, were engaged for one year, and have been married for three years! Before we got married, we met with a couple who’s marriage we had always really admired for a little pre-marital counseling. We had both been huge advocates for premarital counseling because, honestly why not learn from people who have been in the same spot you are in, ya know?
We spent almost three hours with them at Panera and they gave us some really great advice about A LOT of things. But something they chatted with us about was dating while your married. And I am sure you have probably heard this before. But babe, I am here to remind you how truly important it is.
When you first start seeing your partner, it is SO easy to dote on them and do nice things for them because your relationship is new and exciting. You are still trying to impress each other! But after you have been with someone for a while, it can be a little harder to remember to keep up with the little . SO! I put together a list of my top five tips on continuing to date your partner.
1.Learn each others love language.
GUYS. THIS IS A GAME CHANGER. When Jordan and I first started dating, he recommended that we read Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I won’t lie to you, when I was 19 I was NOT a big reader. So this was definitely something I fought him on. Little did I know, it would help us SO MUCH in the long run. Jordan’s love language is words of affirmation. He loves when I use words to encourage him and motivate him. I on the other hand, thrive when I have quality time with Jordan. When we watch a movie, make dinner, have late night chats. Knowing this about each other, we are able to make each other feel loved and supported. It helps us know what each other needs to feel valued.
2. Make weekly date nights
Date nights can very easily get away from us. We get busy with work, life, family, kiddos, or sometimes we are just straight up EXHAUSTED. And it is hard to make time for date night. But we have to! And the best way to do that is to make a standing date night every week. Normally Jordan and I spend Friday doing something together. No matter what. It takes precedent over everything else we have going on. Planning one day a week helps you both make sure you are making time for one another.
3. Be kind and gracious with both yourself and your partner
No one is perfect. You and your partner are going to screw up sometimes. You may say something unkind or your partner may leave his towel on the floor for the 4 millionth time after you’ve asked him not to. Remember to be gracious in those moments. Give your partner the same grace that you would want to be given. Remember how forgiving you were in the beginning of your relationship – try to carry that same kind of graciousness all the time. Now this obviously doesn’t mean you need to give your partner a hall pass every time they do something wrong – but remember to be kind to them.
4. Surprise each other
No matter what anyone says – EVERYONE loves surprises! This doesn’t mean that these surprises need to be absolutely outrageous. You would be surprised what a surprise cup of coffee or quick hug when you aren’t expecting it will do. Take note of the small things that make your partner happy – and then surprise them with those things every once in a while. It is always nice to feel noticed and thought of.
5. Consciously make time for each other – no matter what!
No matter what comes up – make sure that you are always making time for each other. Work days can get long, kiddos can be overwhelming, and all of the other obligations you have can feel all consuming. Don’t forget about each other in all of the chaos. Don’t neglect your relationship trying to please everyone else. Remember you are a team! So make sure you make time for your little team – it’s the most important team you are a part of!
I hope you fin these five tips helpful to both you and your partner! What do you and your partner do together to make sure you both feel loved? Anyone have any date ideas they can share? I would love to hear them!
All my love,
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